We need to rekindle our bromance
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
Randomize
