This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
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