my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
Randomize
