Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
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