Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
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