just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize