2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
Randomize
