I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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