ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
Randomize
