so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
She's the barista slut.
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
Randomize
