I'm really into asian looking animals
I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
Randomize
