fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
Randomize
