so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
Randomize
