What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
Randomize
