He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
i now understand why vodka
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
Randomize
