sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Randomize
