Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
