I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
This is the high leading the old right now
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
