Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
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