so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
Randomize
