She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
She tied me up with her honor cords...
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
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