with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize
