Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
Randomize
