he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
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