Your tits are I can't wait for
"it" just moved
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
Then you guys just all showered together...?
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize
