Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize
