i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
Randomize
