Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
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