Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
Randomize
