I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
Randomize
