When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Randomize
