dude, i woke up naked in her front yard...apparently i tried to leave in the middle of the night, forgot my clothes and decided,"oh heres a nice patch of grass to sleep on" I think god is up there laughing at me.
when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
false alarm, still single
Randomize
