saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
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