This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
YOU HAVE PISSED AND FUCKED ON LITERALLY EVERYTHING IN MY HOUSE
Not everything, just a few things. And only a few times. The odds are really not all that bad when you break it down.
you’ve pissed every time you slept over. there’s no such thing as odds anymore. it’s guaranteed
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
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