Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
did i walk over a car last night?
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
I still have a little drunk in my system
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
Randomize
