I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Randomize
