I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
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