her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
Rumble strips road head = magical
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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