In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
Randomize