i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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