i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
Randomize
