you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Randomize