Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
Randomize
