As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
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