remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
Randomize
