My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
Randomize
