I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
My dad just drunkly made a toast in front of my entire extended family "to my daughter the recent and sucessful college and to my son the drunken whore-monger"
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
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