This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize
