i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
Randomize
