Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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