i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
MIDGETS
????
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
Randomize
