i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
I ran out of diet so I'm mixing captain with a juice box. Being a mom has finally paid off.
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
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