in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
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