you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
Randomize
