This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Randomize
