why im i the only drunk person in the library?
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
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