I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
Randomize
