forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
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