I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
she peed on how many people?
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
Randomize
