I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
Randomize