Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
there is glitter all over my balls
Randomize
